Part Two

     "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to HIs purpose." Romans 8:28

  It doesn't take much to get all twisted up in balls of yarn or barbed wire. The difficult part, for me, has been finding something positive, something good in it all. It's easy to loose sight of the light when darkness pushes you into the deep waters of despair. But, God is good. 

  That's why I have done a second picture. It's based on the first but this time, the woman in the middle has her head up. She, I, am no longer completely surrounded by darkness. The stars represent the gifts, the blessings, the good things that have come out of otherwise harmful relationships.

  

  Because there is always something good. Always. Even when it doesn't feel like there is or has been.

  So today I am going to shift my focus and look up, look forward, look towards the stars that bear life.

  I've been mulling over the idea of joy and have come to recognize something. The precious moments when joy filled my heart as a child, a youth, a teen, and a woman have most often come in times of solitude; in the being still moments when there were no outside influences to tear peace apart.

  Listening to the whisper of pines, watching a kite fly in a breathlessly blue sky, watching the sunlight make a river sparkle...seeing a hummingbird moth or a butterfly...fat snowflakes...storm clouds caressed by the evening sun's last burst of colour...

  Beauty brings joy and if I look hard enough, there is beauty everywhere. And perhaps, to ease the pain of all the ugly, the Lord opened my eyes to the good. I also realize, and may have mentioned it before, that the trauma induced hyper-vigilance has also been used to cement memories of beauty onto the synapses of my brain.

  There are a lot of stars in the picture so the list could become quite extensive. 

  My friend just commented about being asked if she could go back in time and do things differently, what would she change? She has responded to the questioner that she wouldn't be who she was. She wouldn't have her children and countless other blessings. In spite of her own barb wire life, she wouldn't change a thing.

  Our lives are also the result of the generations before us and the choices made long before we were even born. Their choices led to other choices...and brokenness...which formed the brokenness in which we were raised.

  But, I have a redeeming God. I have a God of grace and forgiveness. I am able to forgive the generations before me who both lived and wove barb wire lives. 

  

  It wasn't all my fault after all.

  It's time to stop wearing the ugly, unsuitable, hand-me-downs of brokenness.

  

  This drawing is also the second to last page in my sketchbook. The last page is rather tattered and torn. Unusable, really. 

  It's a good ending, don't you think?