Sorrow

   "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I (Jesus) have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10

  There seems to be an issue with the blog. Some of the writing has been black instead of white. Against a black background, it makes it hard to read. It's only happened since purchasing this new laptop. It might be prudent to experiment with some of the settings to see if that will fix the problem. Barring that, there's always customer service. I will see what I can do.

  My heart is heavy today. It has been since yesterday. Word on the street is the young man we saved from an overdose at the beginning of the year has died. Police have yet to confirm if it was him or not but I'll trust the grapevine on this. Any official announcement may have to wait until next of kin have been found and notified. 

  He must have died all alone.

  I didn't know much about him. He was someone's son and possibly a brother, a cousin, a nephew or even an uncle. His family was the people on the streets and they feel his loss keenly.

  I voiced a thought about why on earth drug dealers are making their products so lethal. A new animal tranquilizer has made an appearance in illegal drugs. It's far more potent than fentanyl. None of this makes any sort of sense from a business perspective. Someone replied that for one death, nine people become  hooked. Opiods can create an instant addiction, an instant need for more. One and done. So it's not about creating a lethal product, it's about numbers and dollars. I guess one death is an acceptable loss to them. 

  It's hard not to judge the dealers and manufacturers of these products. It's hard not to condemn the power of greed. It's hard not to hate them for their utter disregard for their fellow human beings because I doubt they see them as people at all. Maybe they lost their own humanity somewhere along the line. Maybe their own fathoms deep Black River is drowning them and holding them captive in the life they lead just like mine did for so many years. 

  And I may need to keep telling myself this...there is only one being who delights in darkness, death and destruction. He is the real enemy here: the master at whittling away at all that is good and pure and beautiful. 

  No child ever says they want to be a drug dealer when they grow up, do they?

  

  I never saw the young man after we saved his life. Illness took me out of the scene completely. I never got to tell him about what God had orchestrated to save his life. I never got to tell him how much he was loved. 

  Regret causes its own sorrow. 

  God forgive me.