On the Hunt

 

  “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Prov 3:5-6

 

  Throughout the parliamentary debate on the Federal Emergencies Act, I began sharing excerpts on social media. Since then, I have had a couple of wonderful friends tell me I appeared frustrated and worried.

  My comments were meant to be points of interest that challenge what is being said with what is actually going on. Things just aren’t adding up.

  Am I worried?

  In many ways I am because, more than anything, I hope I am wrong to have concerns about the vaccine. It could cost me my job. It has divided my family.

  I hope I am wrong to think my initial support of the truckers puts me in danger of losing everything. Even though I only cheered them on publicly at the start of the protest.

  I hope I am wrong to think that the successful voting in of the Emergencies Act last night has been the first ever democratically invoked police state. Time will tell on that one, one way or another.

  My entire life has been one of submission without question. Peer pressure opened the door to much abuse. My sole goal was to never rock the boat because there were consequences when I did. So I would capitulate, trusting that others obviously knew what was best for me.

  To find myself taking a stand and making choices I believe are best regardless of the consequences has, ironically granted a level of peace that amazes me.

  I finally believe I have the right to question, to doubt, and to make decisions. Are they necessarily good choices? I won’t know for a while but that’s ok. God knows.

  Throughout my long and ongoing journey to overcome PTSD, I learned to trust God to show me where the lies were. Like a bloodhound on a fox, I would follow the trail that led to many breakthroughs in understanding and healing.

  I may not be able to fully articulate the reasons for feeling a deep sense of “Wrongness” about current and ongoing events but it is there. Big time. And it’s growing. The bloodhound is baying. So I am seeking answers, doing research, questioning what I find or hear, reading articles, getting educated. Yes, I have had to step outside of mainstream media.

  Here’s the thing, some of it is waaay out there. Do I believe it blindly? Absolutely not. That’s what’s got me to this point in the first place, this God given ability to discern that something isn’t adding up.

  Not to flog a point, but it’s the simplest of many questions…Why can hundreds of people gather and cheer on a hockey team yet singing in church is still considered high risk? It doesn’t make sense.

  Does the mere act of questioning what’s happening make me a paranoid, conspiracy theorist, right-wing misogynist intent on overthrowing the government? Does it make me anti-vaccine? Does it make me a danger to society despite my willingness to strictly adhere to 99.9% of public health guidelines? It would appear so; based on the news I’ve been watching closely.

  And that is very disturbing although it does evoke a chuckle at the insanity of the idea. What is more disturbing is the relentless fueling of discord, suspicion and prejudice toward those who dare to question the status quo.

  We all need to take a deep breath, step back for a moment, clear our heads and think. Something isn’t right.

  Fact: There has been a great deal of public sympathy generated for the mall that had to temporarily close due to the situation in Ottawa. A year ago, CBC released an article that said roughly 200,000 businesses would close due to Covid restrictions; a situation that impacts millions of people here and abroad.

  Fact: A number of videos were released showing an elderly Mohawk woman with a walker being trampled by a mounted police officer during the Ottawa protest. Shortly after, police issued the statement that no one was run over by a horse. I am not saying she should or should not have been there. I am not judging the police for taking actions they felt necessary. That is not my place nor is it my intention.

  I guess I was imagining things as I watched her fall.

  My prayer today is that truth will find its way. And O, Lord, I hope I am wrong.