Choices by Susan L.

  Yesterday's post about how the doctor offered abortion in the 1980's as a first option has caused me to do some serious thinking about the matter. I've done some research into the adoption practices of the 1960's to try and understand the circumstances surrounding my own birth.
  The two are related. At least, the mindset is.
  For decades, right up to the eighties, a woman who found herself "in a delicate way" was most likely shipped off to a home for unwed mothers once the pregnancy became visible. The treatment these "fallen" women received in many of these places was cruel, brutal, and punitive. The belief was that they were sinful and needed to be redeemed. The belief, once the baby was born, was they could be "restored" to society as a new person, innocent and ready to take on the proper role of a woman. This meant getting married, having a family and so on.
  There is no mention of the accountability of the father to care for his unborn child or the fact that he played a crucial part in the first place to create the baby. Most birth certificates of these children don't name a father in order to protect his reputation. The blame and shame rests squarely on the mother.
  In some homes, these poor women weren't allowed to talk to the other women or even call home. Life revolved around chores, the clock, penitence and silence.
  There was no education regarding pregnancy, birth, or what to expect in labour. In some cases, labour was done in isolation with no one to help, encourage or support the mother. Pain relief was only offered to "honest" women with a ring on their finger.
  These babies were taken and put up for adoption before the mothers had a chance to hold them. In some cases, there were homes that would tell them the baby had died when in fact, it hadn't.
  There are reams and reams of stories about these institutions for unwed mothers available on the internet. It's enough to make me cry.
  Many of these women will never marry or have another child because of the trauma they experienced in these Godless places. Christian homes didn't live the love of God for the sinner. That's enough to make me cry even more.
  I don't necessarily understand the doctor's motives for suggestion an illegal abortion (probably under the disguise of a D and C). He would have been educated while this barbaric treatment of single moms was accepted as the right thing to do. Perhaps he regarded an abortion as a way of escaping the judgement of others, the stigma of having a child out of wedlock, and the archaic idea of a child bearing the weight of the mother's sinful ways.
  Mary would have been stoned to death according to Jewish law.
  That is where my stand on abortion lay. Who are we to deny God's plan for all children? She could become prime minister. He might find a cure for cancer. Either may raise a child who has a child who's potential reaches the stars.
  Adoption has become much more open. The prospective parents have the opportunity to be involved with the mom throughout pregnancy. The mom can have the opportunity to see their child. It is a viable, although far from perfect, option especially with the increasing number of women unable to bear children. (Lord, forgive us for poisoning our environment.)
  Abortion should not be used as a form of birth control in the day and age when it is readily available. In most cases, it's free at the local family planning clinic.
  I need to do some serious thinking about my stand on birth control. No. That's easy. There's too many countries in the world where unwanted babies are left at the side of the road to die. There's still countries where unwed mothers are stoned or beaten to death. (God forgive us.)Yet, if an abortion saves the mother's life...
  This is a complicated subject with no easy answers. I am reluctant to force my personal beliefs on anyone. Isn't that what started this post in the first place? Having someone else's ideas forced on another human being?
  "Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not wanting to make her a public example, was minded to put her away secretly. But while he though about these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream." Mat 1:19-20