Passing Storm by Susan L.

  Having had a few successes in getting rid of the molehill mountain of to-dos, having a heart to heart conversation with one of the small group leaders about what had happened and why I was leaving, and getting rid of the goldfish have all come together to help me feel much less depressed.
  Although not having the fish has really messed up my morning routine of feeding Pumpkin, turning on the laptop, connecting my phone and the internet, putting the kettle on, opening the living room curtains if it isn't too hot then feeding the fish. There's a big gap there.
  Part of me is sorry to have seen them gone but part of me is happy with the decision. I am sure they are pleased to have a huge pond a gazillion times bigger than the ornamental one in the back yard. The two little catfish, the aquarium vacuum cleaners, went into my pond because I hope to set up the aquarium with tropical fish come the fall. They would fit in nicely. My son has done copious amounts of research about tropical fish, tank set up, and all the other details so it would be nice to work together to put something in place.
  I am relieved to feel better. A big part of what was going on was simply grieving and coming to terms, once again, with the challenges that face me every day. Part of the conversation with the group leader was simply sharing my story and why I had been triggered so badly. That was healing, too because it reminded me how far I've come. Still, I don't plan on attending the year end group barbeque but who knows what the fall will bring, if returning is what the Lord wants me to do.
  Meanwhile, I've signed up for an eight week art therapy session. There's been a huge gap in my journey that has been felt most keenly lately: attending recovery oriented workshops or groups. Recent events have shown me there's unfinished business in my soul. It's time to do some growth work and lay it all before the Lord.
  "The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish woman pulls it down with her hands." Prov 14:1