Diligence by Susan L.

   I took a trip to the local medical walk in clinic yesterday. Turns out I have bronchitis so a course of antibiotics is in order. Hopefully that'll turn the tide on this cough of mine.
  When the pharmacy went to fill the prescription, the pharmacist noticed a conflict with one of the other meds I take to stay mentally well. The antibiotic would have impacted how it worked. Not a good thing. I'm glad the head pharmacist caught it.
  I have been thinking that once I am better to try and cut back the dosage on one of my meds. Ironically, it was the one that had the conflict. My psychiatrist would like to see me off of it as well because it is very hard on the liver and kidneys. I'd done a small reduction a couple of years ago but found when the dose was too low, chronic anxiety moved in. This time, I'll take it even slower.
  It's a bit of a rock and a hard place. Constant anxiety can be even harder on the body than the meds. It taxes the adrenal system because anxiety is basically the fight/flight instinct on overdrive. Eventually, the body begins to break down by attacking itself to find the energy to maintain this primal response. Illnesses like fibromyalgia, constant muscle and joint pain, can take over.
  Diligence and balance: being aware of the risks and being aware of what's happening internally and mentally. Any changes need to be done slowly and methodically. It takes weeks for psychotropic meds to work. I will take weeks to do even a small reduction.
  This is something to be celebrated. I have been consistently well enough for long enough to even think about making changes. In saying that, there's no hurry. Part of me is still weighing up the risks involved. If no changes are made, that's okay, too.
  It isn't a matter of success or failure. If I need these medications to stay well, then so be it. I'll stick with the rock.
  "And when the Pharisees saw it, they said to His disciples, "Why does your Teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?" When Jesus heard that, He said to them, "Those who are well have no need to go to a physician, but those who are sick." Mat 9:11-12