Reluctance by Susan L.

  My church is encouraging the women to sign up for a secret sister. It means being in contact with someone anonymously to encourage them and to pray for them. I haven't signed up yet. Someone from the church contacted me last night and left a message to see if I was interested in taking part.
  Where does this reluctance come from? It could be an issue around trust. That's not a surprise. It took a long time for me to open up to my friends at the centre. Could it be a fear of messing it up by saying the wrong things? But then, as the Holy Spirit guides me, that wouldn't even be an issue.
  Part of it could be that I still don't feel settled at Faith Community even though I've been going there off and on for a couple of years as my health would allow. There it is...the biggest part of my reluctance. I don't want to abandon someone if my mental wellness takes a downturn. Not that it will, but it might.
  Maybe if historically I had felt well for longer periods of time it could be something I'd be able to take on. Right now, at this point in my life, that wellness is still rather fragile. It's only been a few months since my medication change which helped me so much in getting rid of the chronic anxiety. I also know I am as thinly spread as I can be with work and the holidays coming up. It's a difficult season for many and in order to help as much as I can, it needs to be balanced with plenty of quiet rest.
  The prayer blog last night helped a lot.
  And there's my answer. Right now, it's "no". But that's not to say at a later date I won't sign up.
  I can do this instead: Lord, if someone needs prayer, please bring them to mind. Help me be obedient to Your wishes. In Jesus' name I pray.
  "I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy." Phil 1:3-4