It's cause for celebration. My first column was published in yesterday's local paper. I am a bit thunderstruck by the whole thing. Thanks go to God and the good woman eight years ago who spoke these words over me at a blessing circle, "You have a voice and it's worth listening to."
I didn't believe her. How could I? My life, my marriage had taught me otherwise.
But that was then, this is now. As I have worked my way through the past to find my identity, somehow my voice has showed up. As ungodly core beliefs were replaced by God's truth, it enabled me to begin opening up. They were the "truths" the world had driven home and I embraced them because they were lessons that repeated themselves time after time: beliefs that eroded my confidence, the understanding that I was worthless and was invisible. I was simply "just sue" and didn't matter. Trauma is a cruel teacher.
Repentance, forgiveness: the tools of inward and outward healing. Coupled with a desire to change enables me to lay every single lie that has been discovered at the foot of the Cross. Many tears have been shed to help wash my soul clean. This is a work in progress. Ungodly core beliefs can be slippery devils.
Old behaviours still pop up once in a while. The habits of a lifetime, the understandings of a lifetime are deeply ingrained. God is patient. He lovingly reminds me of His take on things.
Now the challenge is learning when to be quiet because I regularly contract foot in mouth disease! A vocal hazard of humanity.
"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled." Mat 5:6
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