Worked It Out by Susan L.

It's good to have supports who are patient. The kind who let you flounder around for a while until the solutions/answers/reasons/understandings pop up out of the depths of the subconscious. I saw my psychiatrist yesterday morning and although he was in an unusually preachy mood he helped me examine why my anxiety was so bad this last little while. The result was two words: proactive and reactive. I've been living reactively according to my calendar and outside demands on my time. While I made decisions based on what I thought I could do such as helping with the VBS decorations, the timing was according to someone else's agenda. Proactive means I had/have the right to change my doctor's appointment because last night was the PREFER monthly meeting. Instead I spent nearly six hours driving to two appointments in one day. Why I didn't is a whole other blog. Living reactively is the way most of my life has been. These old habits and responses are very triggering, hence the anxiety. I just need to keep hearing the words: we have the right to self determination. In my case that is a prayerful word. Let my will be God's will in all that I do. Amen! "For the day of the Lord is in the valley of decision." Joel 3:14