Crickets by Susan L.

After finishing yesterday's blog I realized what was part of August's challenges and why it affects my mood. Crickets. Their cheerful chatter is/has been a major trigger bringing to mind the ghosts of Augusts past. It was this time of year in 2007 that I was terribly sick. I'd been fighting a deep and debilitating cough since February, what I now know was masked depression. Unable to work, not sleeping, the world got unbearably loud. Crickets sounded like they were the size of Volkswagens. Trucks on the road roared through my head making me jump and wince. Crickets stir up the memory of my mind slipping sideways. My body, too, remembers how everything was surreal and blindingly bright. I remember the bone aching exhaustion. I made trip after trip to the doctor's, to the hospital. Nothing was helping the cough that felt like it was coming from my toes. My family doctor realized at last that I was suffering from depression and prescribed a medication that he believed would help. They helped me sleep for a while although the cough persisted for another two months. In October, I landed in a mental health facility as my struggles to find the right meds began. "When I lie down I say 'When shall I arise, and the night be ended?' For I have had my fill of tossing till dawn." Job 7:4