Outside by Susan L.

Before yesterday's church service a woman approached me with a clipboard. She asked me what I would like to bring to the Good Friday dinner. "Last year, we had a hundred and ten people!" She smiled, "It was great and there's a service afterwards. What can I put you down for?" She rhymed off several options. I stood there, catching flies, and didn't know how to respond. Apparently someone told her I was excited to go. Flight mode kicked in. Decision making capabilities flew out the window. We stood there for a few minutes before she moved on. She'd get back to me. I am sorry if I gave the wrong impression to the person who told me days earlier about the dinner. I am even more sorry they chose to speak on my behalf because I ended up declining the dinner. I might go to the service. I'd like that. Now I feel guilty. I feel the need to justify my decision. You see, the outside me radiates confidence. The inside me struggles to get through the brief social time each Sunday before the service. But I go anyways, despite the noise, the busyness and it is no where near a hundred and ten people! This small foray into society really pushes my comfort zone. Right now, my focus is preparing myself for the Home Show in April. It's much more than drawing posters. TThere is a lot of mental preparation for me because that environment is a ginormous stretch. "See that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time." Eph 5:15