Future by Susan L.

I have hopes and dreams I do...but to write them down, to make a list is hard for me to do. Performance, achievement, success, failure. Choke me. Because hopeless was my life before, until the very recent past. Yet, hope remained in hidden spots: a something, Something I longed for in those despairing times was waiting there for me. Bad days turned to nightmares, oh, the tales I could tell. Adrift, afraid and tired I merely sailed the storm as crashing waves of pain, of grief kept me on my knees. That was then. This is now. Today the days are dawning fresh, the sunrise is my soul because the Lord, my Light, my Life, my Hope, is the one who brought me sailing through the endless days of night. He tenderly and gently set me on an unfamiliar shore. A place that to my wounded heart is paradise untold. It is such an indescribable spot. Every fibre of my being fills with silent awe because there IS a future meant for me and me alone. I admit it is quite frightening, this belief I've never held: tommorrow. Tomorrow! The gift of a tomorrow! A newly born anticipation fills my breast as I imagine endless possibilities for the first time in my life. In saying that, I can write no list. No worldly goals I'll set because truly said and surrendered, God is the Author of my list. (I would like to explain to my readers that I have had a form of depression called Dysthymia since I was approximately seven years old. It severely impacted my ability to believe in a fuure. It wraps every thought and emotion in a wool blanket. Coupled with repeated trauma, well, anything beyond the moment didn't exist. Again, I thank God for medications and the people He placed in my life who have helped me recover and claim a life of wellness.) "Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage." Eph 5:1