S.A.D. by Susan L.

These past few gray days have affected me with an underlying melancholy sadness. It took all my energy yesterday to finally bring in my fish and chop down the frost wilted Morning Glories from their trellises. There's still more to do in the garden but most of it hasn't been killed by the cold yet. I crawled exhausted into bed with a book shortly after eight o'clock last night and slept until ten thirty this morning. Looking around the house there is so much to do but my heart isn't in to doing anything. This time of year is harder for me than the dead of winter even though we had a long and amazing summer. The shortened days, the upcoming anniversaries of traumatic events have me dreading the next little while yet, at the same time a silver thread of hopeful expectancy lay within the sorrow. I know these things are in the past but as the fall draws to a close it becomes a season of growth and yes, harvest. The Lord uses these memories to continue healing my soul of its hurts. That, unfortunately, can be messy but by the time the snow lay thick and silent on the ground each year I end up being forever changed. Live me, love me, grow me, show me, my Lord, I am Yours. "Search me, O God, and know my heart: Try me, and know my anxieties: And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting." Ps 139:24