Wednesday, 28 January 2015

Not Sleeping Well by Susan L.

  In a jolt of connection this morning I realized the past week of broken sleep started with taking a multi-vitamin at night along with my other meds. It's worth trying to take the vitamin in the morning to see if that helps because it's something that needs to be taken. My eating habits aren't the best. Vitamin C can interfere with anti-depressants. Perhaps there's enough in the One-a-Day to mess with how the others are supposed to work. I need them to work. They are what keeps me well.
  There's been dreams, too, although not as harrowing as the nightmare of a week or so ago.
  Last night's was really strange. I was a man who was flying over where my son was stationed at a desert military outpost. (A combination of Bette Midler's "Where the Boys Are" and the old movie "Zulu".) I could feel and hear the roar of the twin props on the small plane (Raiders of the Lost Ark). The plan was to land and surprise him.
   Circling over the fort, circa 1890, (Yes, I know there were no planes then. It's a dream.) "I", the father, looked down through swirling dust and clouds. There was military action taking place: guns firing, tiny troops scurrying to defend themselves from an unseen enemy. The thought went through "my" manly head that they must be doing a training exercise. How proud "I" was of my son. How excited to see him again.
  But it wasn't a training exercise.
  Pulling away with my connection to the father's mind, I remember thinking how sad the man would be when he realized this was an actual battle he was witnessing and that his son was probably dead.
  I sort of woke up, my heart grieved, and kept revisiting the view from above for the rest of the night as both the father and the spectator.
  I've been skeptical about dreams being prophetic but believe they are sourced in our day to day experiences. The subconscious tries to make sense of what's happening. Although, where ravening dogs trying to tear me apart fit into that I have no idea. As Scrooge says, they were probably a bit of undigested beef or a smidgen of undercooked potato. However, this dream really captures my feelings about what is happening at church.
  The enemy we are fighting is ourselves. How this must grieve our Father's heart.
  Lord, have mercy. Let Your will be done. In Jesus most Holy Name. Amen!
  "But the Lord is with me as a mighty, awesome One. Therefore my persecutors will stumble, and will not prevail. They will be greatly ashamed, for they will not prosper. Their everlasting confusion will never be forgotten." Jer 20:11
 
 
 

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