Monday, 24 February 2014

Time by Susan L.

  One of the collages produced in this art marathon contained numerous images of clocks and watches. Some were whole, others cut into pieces. There were even images of clock innards, the hidden works. They grace a background of black and electric blue: the colours of anxiety.
  Initially, I thought the clocks represented traumatic event in my life which is what drew me to them. I have prayed and meditated about the piece and realized it is more. The clocks represent the nature of PTSD, how time can warp and compress, becoming meaningless because a trigger can drop me into a five senses memory. The present vanishes into the power of recollection. The clocks are a symbol of grief, too. There were a lot of them. There has been a lot of tough stuff.
  Once I realized this, I also realized that to God, time has no meaning. He is the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. We have worked forward through history so I may come to know Him better. The time only matters to us because we are mortal. It's only with God that memory can take us forward.
  A bit of guilt and shame reared its ugly head in these timepieces. The "I Shoulds" came through loud and clear. But then, I did a reassessment about what has happened in the decade since my marriage fell apart. There are many memories missing from that time; held in a watch case. It is something I struggle with, the vanished days, I only know God was with me throughout those dark and terrible times.
  Time can compress and fold in on itself. I loved it when my little boy, dressed those one piece, blue, fuzzy, vinyl footed pjs would swish down the hall going a mile a minute. It feels like a lifetime ago. Huh...It was yet, I can still smell baby shampoo.
 Thank You Lord for the good things.
  "I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End," says the Lord, "who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty." Rev 1:8


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