Saturday, 21 December 2013

Depression Confession by Susan L.

  It could be because of having to fight off this cold thing that I'm struggling really hard to get some kind of excitement/delight about Christmas. I have had a bad headache now for five days, a sinus issue that is related to changes in the weather. We've had storm front after storm front roll through which makes it worse. Changes in barometric pressure aggravate the situation. If it doesn't get better soon, I'll head to the walk-in clinic. It's probably a sinus infection.
  Making decisions about what I am doing on the twenty-fifth is challenging, a sure sign that depression is rearing its ugly head. The future is hard to envision or plan for. When forced to make a choice regarding future events I feel like a rabbit caught in the headlights of a fast moving car. White noise fills my head, speech becomes difficult, the fight/flight instincts kick in. Right now, this response is kicking in when I am deciding what to have for dinner! This is not a good sign.
  I need a big siren on the top of my head that flashes "Red Alert!!!" when things are "breaking down". That's a term I learned in WRAP. I also learned what to do to prevent the situation from getting worse.
  I pray for guidance then look after my physical needs: plenty of rest, good food, trying to avoid known stressful situations. Secondly is try to simplify and prioritize what has to get done by taking it one step at a time. A big list is not helpful.
  The first thing I am going to do is take my own advice. I am off to the clinic. I've had enough.
  Thank You Lord, that I have access to this kind of health care.
  "I, wisdom, dwell with prudence, and find out knowledge and discretion." Prov 8:12

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