Tangibles by Susan L.

At church yesterday we watched a video sermon about how our suffering glorifies God. This happens when we testify about all He did or does for us during our troubled times. My journey as a Christian began in the book of Ephesians: the armor of God (6:10). There was no room to get bogged down in the lovey-dovey-touchy-feely aspects of faith. I needed to know God could keep me safe. At that point I couldn't have handled love talk anyways. Love to me meant betrayal of the worst kind. Looking back at those first precious moments when I felt God's gift of His Spirit I was a wild animal. Emotionally beaten into submission, on the verge of suicide, and quick to fear a kind hand or word. Kindness meant betrayal. The big one, trust, also meant betrayal. God began to tame my broken spirit by leaving simple love tokens along my path: a deer grazing when I voiced the desire to see one, a unique feather, a shell. I have a little treasure box for these simple things which mean so much. My four leafed clovers are tucked in there too. A couple of years ago I added a small photo of myself. With God leading, it is a celebration of His healing from the wounds left by sexual abuse, emotional abuse, my mental illness and yes, the many betrayals which are part of those stories...the list goes on. In fact my very life itself is a gift. My knowledge of God's love has evolved and continues to grow. So has the ability to recieve good things without suspicion. I no longer snap at the Hand who feeds me. God is good. "When He ascended on high, He led captivity captive, and gave gifts to men." Eph 4:8