Bountiful Harvest by Susan L.

This time of year is when I like to pause and reflect. Part of this is driven by the awareness that the next several weeks are filled with the difficult anniversaries of some of the most traumatic events in my life: the sudden dissolution of my twenty year marriage, coming a hair's breadth away from taking my own life as a result, and two years later my first trip to a mental hospital. The second was twelve months later. There's more so let's just say the Black River swept me along for a long time. This year is different. Better different. However, a conversation I had with a friend helped me realize just how much has been done, how many challenges have been overcome and faced down. Like him I sometimes feel that it shouldn't have taken eight years to get to this place. But that's not the right way to look at it. In past Novembers I've tried to write a timeline of events but end up having to face the truth of missing blocks of time when my sanity left the building. It's so hard to reconcile myself to that reality although one day those times will be restored. I just need to be patient. My walk with the Lord began November 9, 2004. My re-birthday. The Lord grabbed me from the brink of suicide and threw me His Life Preserver so I didn't drown. Sometimes He nlessed me with a Life Boat as well as the currents of the Black River grew dangerous. It wasn't a lack of faith that kept me there. It was faith that by being there God could lead me into wellness and wholeness and life. Today I looked at the River and saw ghostly reflections of the past. These events no longer define who I am yet there is still a very human grief entwined within the truths God has shown me. Maybe I will always grieve the hurts but at the same time in my Heart of hearts this truly is a season of harvest, feasting and celebration. No one or nothing can ever take that away. Thank you Lord for this scripture of patience: "To everything there is a season, a time to every purpose under Heaven." Ecc 3:1