Simple Joys by Susan L.

  Some time was spent last weekend clearing one of the garden paths that had been buried by ground cover, weeds, and overdone Forget-me-nots. It brought a smile to my face this morning as a Mourning Dove walked the path searching for whatever it is Mourning Doves eat. They have rather short, bright red legs. I guess since the rest of them is drab brown, the Lord decided to give them a flash of colour. They are funny looking though, somehow not quite matching the rest of them.
  There was a heavy dew last night. The tomato plants are adorned with watery jewels at the ends of their leaves.
  A lot of the garden is allowed to freely express itself. Wildflowers, or what some consider weeds, are left to grow (not thistles though). Johnny Jump Ups, the miniature pansies, have erupted wherever they will. Daisies have exploded everywhere. There's a ground cover in the middle of the yard that has a tiny, hot pink blossom that deserves a corner of a flower bed. I had no idea it was there because it's the first time it's ever flowered. Normally it gets mowed but the grass is fried from the drought so it's had a chance to show off.
  The baby walnut tree is flourishing. When it's big enough it will be moved to the park somewhere. Apparently they are pretty messy.
  Finding a new melody hidden in the piano keys. Acknowledging that my passion is more along the lines of classical music. Letting go of trying to write worship songs.
  Being chilly this morning.
  Being up early this morning.
  Making lunch today at the centre for anyone who might need or want a meal: potato salad, carrot salad and egg salad sandwiches. It's a summer, salady kind of day.
  There's so much more.
  Knowing the Lord is in everything from the dew's kiss to every heartbeat.
  "Blessed is the man You choose, and cause to approach You, that he may dwell in Your courts." Ps 65:4
 
 
 

On Pride by Susan L.

  In an out-of-character fit of boldness, I shared a link to my blog on Facebook so my church family could read what had been written about Sunday's fun. It's left me feeling rather anxious...no, not anxious...Guilty? Yes. That's one part. Uncomfortable. Yes, that's another. Is shame in there? Shame that I put my writing out there for all to see?
  This happens every time I share any aspect of the creative voice God gave me be it in art, writing or even playing or singing with the worship team. My stomach roils with toxic emotions. Why?
  Oh.
  That's opened a barrage of ugly. The devil is having some fun with this.
  "How dare you! It's boastful! It's arrogant, conceited, prideful! What makes you think you're better than anyone else? Talent? Bah! Nothing you do is ever good enough! What make you think anyone would be interested in what you have to say anyways?"

  Wow. I need to take a moment. That wasn't much fun but the Lord says anything that is held up to the light will be made manifest by the Light.

  To the Light I offer this: lessons learned at the hands of abuse and control don't belong. Lessons that were drilled into my soul by hurtful words, hurtful silences and cruel actions don't belong either. These poisonous understandings no longer have a place in my life.
  I thought checking out the blog stats was an egotistic, prideful thing but realize now it's been simply out of amazement that so many people from all over the world like to pop in and read what is written! It's an honour. It's encouraging. Thank you, dear readers, for helping me come to believe in God's gifts.
  Lord, help me forgive. Help me share, with a soul freed of lies, the gifts You placed in my heart and mind. Help me understand when real pride is at work. Help me stay truly humble because, Lord, I am honoured by the many, many gifts and abilities you have given me. Use them for Your glory. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen!
  "Then he who had received the five talents went and traded with them, and made another five talents. And likewise he who had received two gained two more also. But he who had received one went and dug in the ground, and hid his lord's money." Mat 25:16-18
 
 

 

 
 
 
 
 
 

Little Things by Susan L.

  There were a couple of magic moments for me on Sunday besides playing the games. Witnessing some of the youth leap up to help the tug of war team that, due to luck of the draw was mostly children, take on the he-man team; to help the little ones have a chance. It didn't matter the team they were on, the imbalance didn't seem fair.
  We also played a game of musical chairs with a twist. We started out one chair short with one person standing. Instead of removing chairs when someone didn't find a seat, those people had to sit, sliding from chair to chair in the opposite direction of the people walking around waiting for the music to stop. It was a neat way of including everyone in the game even if they were "out".
  It was hot and thirsty work. We had played this physically demanding game upstairs in the barn where there was absolutely no breeze. Afterwards, people headed to the containers of water and lemonade. There were no cups left. A young girl tried to bend under it and pour it directly into her mouth. She didn't have much luck because the table was in the way so I helped by holding the jug and pouring it for her. It made me think of the Orioles as she opened her mouth for sips of the juice. All that was missing was the demanding, "Feed me!" cheep.
  When the Freezies came out, the kids were like a duck on a June bug. This big duck was pretty quick to get in line, too! There was a little fellow who chose his flavour and took the scissors to open his icy treat but seemed a bit lost. I asked if he'd like me to cut it open for him. He passed me the scissors with a look of relief. Memories of doing this for my own kids made it extra special.
  There's some take out from all of this. I suppose there needs to be some forgiving, some letting go of the crap that stops me from simply having fun. You know...the age "rules", the gender "rules", the "primandproper" ideologies...but mostly? It's the sadness that life beat the fun, the carefree spirit, out of me.
  I think I can set a goal: (gasp) to laugh more, to play more, to embrace joy in all its many facets, to be unafraid of making a fool of myself, to break the "rules". Well, that's actually five! (another gasp) With God's help, they will become an intrinsic part of my life.
  "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning." James 1:17
 
 

Fun and Games by Susan L.

  Literally it was fun and games at the church summer service/barbeque in the barn. Normally I'm not one to sign up for this kind of thing but, once again, in a rare fit of exuberance, I found myself signing a piece of paper that would place me on a team.
  The first game was a water bucket challenge. We were give a pail of water with spongy objects in it. There was an empty pail twenty feet away. The goal (oooo, sneaky things) was to fill the empty pail until it overflowed by running with the sponges and squishing the water out. My team won that! We had three mature women whose dish rag wringing experience showed it actually has some value!
  The next game was a bit more complicated. It was a race, albeit a very slow race. The lawn was an imaginary river of lava. We were given bits of "fire proof fabric" that had to be stepped on as the team worked its way around an orange cone and back to home base. It ended up being like the game "Twister" only in a wiggly line. There were fabric thieves who would snatch the fabric foot thingies if no one was touching it. Balance was tricky. It took a whole lot of physical coordination not to step on each other's toes. We waddled in last.
  Give a group of people a rope and a tug of war is bound to break out. The ole muscles are complaining a bit this morning after that workout. Legs mostly. One of the teams had been stacked by chance with large, able bodied, young men who pulled their way to victory with very little resistance from the rest of us.
  The final game was to toss softballs into a pail. The rules were quickly changed that if you even hit the pail it was allowed to be tossed in otherwise I think we'd still be there! Nope. No winner there either but I think we came in second. Only one of our team managed to actually toss the ball into the pail. Her accomplishment was celebrated by a huge cheer from us.
  There was much laughter and much sweat. It was pretty hot. The prizes for everyone were the same: a huge, right-from-the-freezer, Freezie that, for me, never tasted so good!
  I surprised myself a bit by signing up but ended up having a lot of fun. It's easy to forget that it's okay to get a bit silly every once in a while.
  "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering , kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentle ness, self control." Gal 5:22-23

For the Farmers by Susan L.

  It's been weeks since we had any rain worth mentioning. While ideal for making hay, other crops are suffering. Without rain, the hayfields won't regrow either to enable the second cut later in the season.  Any livestock on pasture will quickly eat what little green is left. The rest of the grass will have no nutrition whatsoever as it shrivels and dries up.
  This drought will hurt everyone by impacting food prices.
  Since having attempted farming and therefore quickly losing the idyllic stereotypes about it, my heart goes out to those who are dedicated to working the land. It's a tough job.
  Raising livestock takes dedication and commitment. It runs twenty-four hours at certain times if they have been bred. Babies mostly come in the wee hours of the night. A moment's inattention could mean a loss.
  Time needs to be spent simply watching the animals for signs of physical injury or illness. A limp, a runny nose or even blindness can strike quickly.
  Then there's the predators who also only come at night. Coyotes will take lambs and goats or even a calf. Smaller predators like foxes, weasels or skunks will take chickens. A hen house doesn't mean they are safe.
  We had a lot of losses. I say "we" but it was mostly me who was shepherd. The deaths haunt me still. The sheep whose throat was torn out by an extremely bold coyote one night only meters from the house. The newborn lambs or goats that froze to death or got crushed. A foal that got hung up by its halter and strangled. The ignorant mistake of breeding our cows to a different breed of bull meant the loss of a couple of calves one year because they were too big for the girls to deliver. Thankfully, we were able to save the mothers.
  Lord, why are you taking me back into these sad memories? Every loss is as clear as if it happened yesterday...
  Help me, Lord, see this through Your eyes of Honesty.
  There was a lot to take care of. Too much. At our biggest, we had seven cows with calves, an unusually docile bull, nearly fifty sheep and goats, a couple of pigs, a half dozen horses, never mind counting the free range chickens, ducks and geese with the added responsibility of raising over a hundred and fifty meat chickens each year. I don't even want to go into the haying nightmare.
  I suppose I am still angry that all this ended up being my responsibility but then, shouldering responsibility was what I was good at. Saying "no", not so much. Although, I did draw the line at buffalo (extremely dangerous and we had very inadequate fencing) or dairy farming (not just tied to the farm but tied to the clock).
  Later I heard that the buffalo killed the farmer raising them.
  During this time I also didn't know the Lord. I felt so terribly alone. But He obviously was watching over me, waiting until I had nothing left but to turn to Him.
  Where was my ex? Away at work. We needed the money because the farm didn't generate enough income to pay its way. It was mostly a tax write off and a back breaking one at that. Lord, help me not be bitter about it all. I know there was also a lot of good that came out of those years it's just sometimes, the hurts and pain need to come out.
  So, Lord, I am grateful for the dedicated men and women who have made farming their life, who have to hold down a full time job as well so they can fulfill their calling. Bless them and keep them safe. In Jesus' name I pray.
  "Therefore be patient, brethren, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, waiting patiently for it until it receives the early and latter rain." Jas 5:7

Music by Susan L.

  While watching a rather strange movie a few nights ago, there was an idea mentioned a couple of times that has struck a chord with me. To paraphrase, "Music is the silence between the notes." I've been thinking about it off and on trying to figure out what that means.
  Music is more than notes because occasionally the composer inserts rests or breaks. Those pauses are used to create impact, evoke emotion or to highlight a particular instrument when another stops playing. That's the technical end.
  My idea is this: the silence spoken of is relating to the unheard breaks as an instrument moves from note to note. I'm talking nanoseconds here, a sub-audible break. Even though the notes are connected there's still a pause, a momentary sense of anticipation as the melodic story unfolds.
  I like to think that's where God is. I envision the heavens, a galactic cosmos full of stars and comets and swirling, colourful gases hidden between the sounds.
  While the notes themselves evoke emotion, it's the soul that longs for a deeper connection to something bigger than ourselves. The something bigger that has humbled Himself by becoming human.
  Could it be the silence filling, immense presence of God fills those few moments between the beats of our heart as well?
  "I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, the First and the Last." Rev 22:13

Ramble by Susan L.

  A baby Oriole was out of the nest yesterday. While not able to fly, he or she moved from branch to branch incessantly demanding food. Or maybe it was so mom and dad would know where to find their chick when they brought home some munchies.
  I feel a bit like the chick because for the last couple of days, I've flitted from task to task that had been on the honey-do list. Some of the stuff wasn't on the list at all but when the mood strikes to wash windows, they better get done!
  There was a visit to the doctor's yesterday to get checked out. Good news! It appears my lungs have finally given up the bronchitis! Woo hoo!
  It makes a huge difference in everything from mood to energy level.
  The leader of the new bible study group I've sort of joined (I went once) made a point of inviting me to their year end pot luck Tuesday night. In a rare explosion of carefree exuberance, I went and had a most enjoyable evening of good food and good conversation. But honestly, the good conversation meant I was listening, not flapping my gums.
  This sort of thing is waaaay outside my comfort zone. I admit I am socially awkward and have a wonderful way of putting my foot in my mouth by saying the wrong thing. Ask my kids. They know. What the heart means isn't what the tongue spits out.
  "I don't get out very often." Should have been, "I don't go out very often because it is a challenge."
  "I live in a six hundred square foot bungalow. It's hard to get my head around how big other people's houses are!" should have been, "You have a lovely, old home!" (It was!)
  Sheesh!
  There were a couple other choice comments that made me feel even more socially inept. I'll keep those to myself. The entire situation is making me laugh at my own expense because yes, there is a brain between my ears! It just doesn't reside in my tongue at all.
  Hmmm, maybe it might be prudent to take my laptop and type out what I want to say before uttering a word. At least then I can delete what shouldn't be said before it's out there for the world to hear.
  I hope the group will forgive my faux pas...what's the plural of faux pas? Faux paases? Hopefully the next time we get together it will be better. I won't feel so nervous.  With God's help of course!
  "For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him." Mat 6:8