On My Own by Susan L.

Sitting here waiting for inspiration...waiting...waiting...waiting some more... Back to the topic of self esteem. It isn't conceit to acknowledge and give thanks for our gifts, our talents. Even sharing them with others doesn't make you conceited. I still struggle to get my head around that concept. Satisfaction with a job well done isn't pride. It's knowing you've done something to the best of your God given abilities. Thank You, Lord, my fingers are still attached because I used my power tools this weekend. Being successful isn't a sin. It's knowing and admitting that God is the author of our success. Self esteem is God esteem. (I am sure I've heard that somewhere else.) It's also acknowledging that my impatience this morning made me write all this on my own. I wanted some great, thought provoking truth to be revealed on the page. Thank You, Lord that I can laugh at myself and that You are so quick to forgive us our folly. It isn't the great things but the mundane, the every day which holds the meaningful purpose and the meaningful connection to God. The Bread, the Wine. Simple food and drink for the heart of the matter. "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jer 29:11 w

Step One by Susan L.

I've decided to try a Bible based diet. Not only as a means to weight loss but as a healthier option. This concept has tweaked my interest for a long time. I just never did anything about it. Gift cardst I recieved at Christmas for a bargain grocery store meant I could fill my almost empty pantry with loads of dry goods. The thought of using a meal plan didn't sit well, they feel too restrictive but in knowing the four Biblical food groups, it's easier to make choices. I learned most of the following at www.planetpace.com. According to scripture, God gave Adam the fruits of trees first. So apples, dates, figs, nuts, etc. should make up the bulk of my diet. Next came the plants and their fruits: rice, celery, beans, lentils. Third are the roots: yams, carrots, the food below ground. Lastly was meat. Anything but pork which isn't a hard thing for me to give up. Pork doesn't agree with my stomach. Mediterranean recipies help dress this up with a wonderful array of spices and herbs. It doesn't feel so much like a diet when it is more of a grand experiment for the taste buds! Later today I 'll try my hand at making flat bread. It looks easy. My soul and spirit have been healed from many hurts. It's nice to be able to focus on the physical. "For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the first principals of the sayings of God." Heb 5:12

Life Savers by Susan L.

It was nice to spend last night with a friend. Dinner and a uTube video by Ronald Rolheiser. It was a thought provoking video about the paradox that is God and about hearing His voice in all things: good and what we mere mortals deem as bad. Before I invited Jesus into my heart, my hunger for something more, something outside of myself was fanned by authors like Stephen King. His book, The Stand, and another little book called The Girl who Loved Tom Gordon, a classic tale of good vs evil fanned the fires of my hunger. Dan Brown's The Davinci Code made me want to find my own Holy Grail and follow the knights on their quest for spiritual enlightenment. I've witnessed Christian ire that bordered on a witch hunt when The Davinci Code first came out. If Dan Brown had been there, I would have feared for his life. Being burned at the stake was a strong possibility. The author of the Harry Potter series would have been strung up beside him without a second thought. I was and still am greatly saddened by this response because I knew God can and will use anything and everything to bring His children home. Who are we to question His abilities or His tools? About the Life Savers. My friend had a bowl full of minty ones on a hall table. They brought to mind the time when I was four or so. We were driving somewhere. My parents had given my brother and I a Life Saver candy. A rare sweet treat. Mine went down the wrong way and became deeply entrenched in my windpipe. I remember my mom pulling me into the front and tossing me face down over the front seat. There was a small, shiny pebble trapped in the light blue floor mat. Everything else around was beginning to turn black. What felt like hours passed as my mom pounded fruitlessly on my back trying to jar the candy loose. My parents were beginning to panic and head to the nearest hospital as I gaspes and struggled for air. Any air! My father cried out in frustrated rage and fear, "Jesus Christ! Woman, do something!" The candy came flying out, rattling against my teeth with a force beyond my mother's thumps. It lay innocently beside the stone on the floor. Breathing never felt so good. To this day I rarely eat a Life Saver and if I do it is quickly crunched into pieces. Now, what does this have to do with Dan Brown and Stephen King? They were the back thumps when my life in the world was choking me to death. "For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world--our faith." 1 Jn 5:4

Cracked? What?! by Susan L.

There's a new TV show being advertised by a major Canadian station. It is about a police detective who has Post Traumatic Stress. It is called, "Cracked". I was going to refrain from commenting until I had seen the first episode but I am gravely troubled by the title alone. If they put a show on about a Mexican family and called it (I apologize for this) "Spicks". Can you imagine the outcry? This title, "Cracked" does a grave disservice to us. We, the people in the trenches, who live with PTS are not cracked! Or looney, or deranged, nutso, off our rockers...you get the idea. We have an illness that can be devestating and debilitating. Never mind what we've been through to aquire PTS in the first place! I am going to try and watch the first episode before I contact the TV station that has chosen to run the program. Just to make sure. And in all honesty, I am a bit too angry right now. My suspicions about how PTS will be portrayed could be wrong but sadly, I fear not. "Who will stand up for me against the workers of iniquity? Unless the Lord had been my help, my soul would soon have settled in silence." Ps 94:17

Way Too Excited! by Susan L.

I ended up not going into the city last night. My travelling companion lives in the snow belt not far from here and the roads her way were not good. It is the first one we've missed since starting the PREFER training and there's some leeway there anyways. Also, yesterday was not my first day of work. Tomorrow is. The staff meeting is next Wednesday! Don't I feel silly! I do this kind of thing on a regular basis, often ending up rather panicky. Especially when I'm waiting for an appointment and I arrive early. Cascading questions pour through my mind, "Do I have the right time? Am I in the right place? Late? Missed something? Was it cancelled? Is it actually today?" This barrage is topped off with the surefire sign that I am aging, "What day is it anyways?" In the past, I have missed important appointments. Years ago I showed up a day late for jury duty. Thankfully, the case had settled out of court and the jury wasn't needed or there could have been serious consequences to that mistake. It isn't as bad as it used to be. I can now diffuse the situation by laughing at myself and using some positive self talk, " Patience, and all will be revealed!" So I spent the day at the centre anyways and had a good day. "Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us." Heb 12:1

Prayer Request by Susan L.

I officially start my part time job as Peer Support Worker today. That comes with staff meetings. The PREFER monthly meeting is tonight in the city. It is going to be a long day. I am so excited about this, these opportunities. Can I ask my readers to pray for me? Pray for guidance, divine appointments and the right words to say. To God be the glory. Thank you ever so much! "Therefore pray the Lord of the harvest to send out labourers into His harvest." Mat 9:13

Happy New Year

"Our Father who is in Heaven, hallowed is Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our sins. For we also forgive those who tresspass against us. Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from the evil one." Lk 11:2 For Yours is the kingdom, the power and the glory for ever and ever, Amen God bless 2013