Peace by Susan L.

  I've been doing a lot of art lately, collaging the cares and concerns of my soul. It has soothed the anxiety as I lift my troubles to the Lord. It's better than the little worksheet I designed because the worksheet requires thought when thought is a struggle against the overwhelming power of "RUN! NOT SAFE!".
  My ironing board has been set up in the living room as a temporary desk. It's ideal because of the length and its adjustable height. It gives plenty of room for the pages I am working on. There's space to flip through the rather tattered magazines used for inspiration. My scissors are always in sight although my pens and markers sometimes hide for a while.
  The floor ends up littered with scraps and bits of paper: the waste of accomplishment. These tiny, cast away remnants are only there because of grace and patience and discovery. The garbage is a celebration of success and achievement. They are symbolic of what is happening within my heart and mind.
  I find a page often starts out dark and full of angry images or cut out words. Sometimes the words are assembled from cut out individual letters like a kidnapper's ransom letter. Sometimes I feel like a hostage of my own emotions. In some ways, I guess I am.
  I don't censor the process because few people, if any, will ever see this journal. It's between God and I. Over the space of a few hours, the dark and angry images evolve. Layer upon layer begins to cover them, redeem them, release them without doing harm. Understanding replaces raw emotion as the Lord encompasses the darkness with His light.
  Peace.
  I'd cut out a small crucifix a few days ago but only used it yesterday. I partially tore it down the middle before gluing this broken, holy image onto the page. All I could feel was the Lord's pain for the damage we have done to each other. I could feel His heart grieve over the brutal practices condoned by His church in the name of religion that went against and, sadly, continues to go against, everything He stands for.
  Sometimes, we have the right to be angry because anger creates action. Action, through the guiding hand of Christ, is love in motion.
  "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those who are great exercise authority over them. Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave--just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many." Mat 20:25-28