Teddy Bears by Susan L.

  Every Christmas since I've lived here I've made a new teddy bear to sit on the railing by the back door. Because my decorations never made it out of the box last year, it was necessary to make two. That's pretty much all I did this weekend except for the inevitable laundry.

  They're small bears, about eight inches high, so they don't take too long to make. One has jointed arms and legs, the other hasn't. I dressed one in a knitted hat and scarf, the other in a red, knitted vest. It's hard to believe there's eight of them now.
  Whenever I make one it brings my much loved Aunt to mind, the one who also taught me to crazy quilt. She's been gone a few years now but I'm still using the plastic eyes and noses she gave me when she could no longer sew. There are a lot even when I use eyes for attaching arms and legs to the bears. There's more pink ones than I'll ever use.

  I'd made one small enough to fit in the palm of my hand years ago. He accompanied me to the hospital hiding in my pocket. I'd reach in for a bit of fuzzy comfort. He was made with a longish, faux fur and because of his tiny size, it stood out willy-nilly. He's one of the few I've actually named. "Spaz" gave me a great deal of comfort because he looked like he was having a terribly rough day. His disheveled appearance made me smile every time I looked at him in a time when smiles were scarce. He was also a great grounding tool to help me reconnect to the present when my panic attacks threatened to take over.


  He ended up being given to another woman before I left the hospital. She was having a difficult time with anxiety as well. She appreciated the gift and like me, found something about him to make her smile.
  There's something wonderfully and delightfully innocent about a teddy bear. Even now, I have a bigger one who sleeps with me. Fuzzy cuddles help ease the stress of a hard day although the bear has been mostly usurped by a rather cuddle demanding Pumpkin.
  These bears have done something else even more wonderful. Tucked into bed, teddy bear in hand, I am transformed into a child. It enables me to come before the Lord as a child, with a child's heart and soul, in awe of the One who has done so much to set me free.
  "A little while longer and the world will see Me no more, but you will see Me. Because I live, you will live also. At that day you will know that I am in the Father, and you in Me, and I in you." Jn 14:19-20