I wrote a letter to my pastor expressing my confusion about his sermons. If you would like to see them, they are at www.faithcommunity.com. (The Black Dog video is an amazing short film.) I shared a bit about my own story with depression, taking a good two and a half hours to compose. He doesn't have personal experience so it is necessary to extend grace towards him. I shared with him some of the gifts depression has given me and a bit about my own journey with a wonderful, caring therapist.
He responded thanking me for sharing and offered an opportunity, if I would like, to share my story with the church. In a way, it felt like a bit of a brush off. "That's nice, dear." Yes, it hurt a bit, that he'd missed my points or wasn't able to hear them or apply them to his own way of thinking. Or maybe I hadn't been clear enough or forceful enough. Isn't that pride at its finest!
Or is it possible, as a leader, that admitting a mistake to a member of the congregation is not something they do easily. We parishioners expect and often demand that our pastors, elders and their spouses be more than human. That's a tough pedestal to sit on don't you think?
It's easy to sit and point a finger. "You're WRONG!" It's easy to walk away in an offended huff. It's harder to be patient, trusting in God for the right words, the right people to enter into someone's life so they may gain wisdom.
For most of us, it takes seven times before we go "Ohh, that's what You meant. I get it!"
It has not been my intention to criticize him or crucify him. I, myself, am seeking understanding and wisdom as to how to proceed from here. I can only love the pastor like Jesus does by continuing to pray for his growth as a pastor and as a man. I can only pray the pedestal crumbles.
Trust is a whole other matter.
"Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord comes, who will both bring to light the hidden things of darkness and reveal the counsels of the hearts. Then each one's praise will come from God." 1 Cor 4:5
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The Robes
"Coming up behind Jesus, she (the woman who had bled for 12 years) touched the fringe of His robe." Luke 9:44 And she was heal...
I have to admit - bells went off when I read that the pastor wanted you to share. Followed by annoyance. One - it's not your job to educate the church in a large way. Two - you could be hung out to dry. The pastor looks good by giving you the opportunity - but if others "disagree" he is safe. To be honest, I would run like the wind. As much as our hearts long to have understanding - a forum like that is too much. Perhaps passing on a good book or if you attended a Christian Counselor, have them contact the pastor. So many folks think illness is a weakness. (Even those close to you may hold this as their truth - as in my situation.) Or, in the church circles, illness is from sin. I saw a psychiatrist once (not a good fit), and one thing she said stuck with me. When something "bad" happens to someone - most people think that they deserve it or did something to deserve it. Rocked my world. Judgement. No wonder we are told not to judge - how it hurts. How unbiblical on all accounts. I greatly admire you for taking the time to craft the letter - caring enough to educate and share. God will bless you for it. Perhaps this is yet another prompt to do your book!!
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