“So you should earnestly
desire the most helpful gifts. But now let me show you a way of life that is
best of all.” 1 Corinthians 12:31
I am going to share a quote my
friend H. sent me in keeping with attempting to unravel the gender disparity
that is such a part of our lives. I am seeking to discover where my own, unacknowledged
prejudices have shaped my understanding.
“The woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of
his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but
out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near
his heart to be beloved.” Mathew Henry in the early 1700’s
That is one of the most
beautiful pieces of writing I have ever read. Yet, at the same time, it is a poignant reminder of how far we are from living through this truth.
While away, I needed a small
item. The mesh scrubbie I use in the shower fell apart so I went to the nearby
drug store to replace it. They had a wide selection to choose from. They even
had ones specifically made for men. The ladies’ ones were pretty pinks, pale blues,
lavender purple or a swirling combination of these colours. Those for the men
were in a stately red, a regal navy and shimmering black.
The ladies’ ones were double
the price despite not being nearly as well made. They utilized less fabric.
They were held together with a soft piece of rope. The men’s were thicker and
had a strong rubber strap that could be slipped over the hand for improved
grip. Needless to say, I bought a red one because I don’t care that it came
with a black label that clearly identified it as a men’s product. I wanted the
best bang for my $2.
While this irked me to no end,
it is a clear depiction of how subtle gender disparity can be and just how
infused it is into our thinking. There are even boy colours and girl colours!
Being irked is only part of
this. Who am I kidding? I was downright p***d off that, because of my gender, I
was expected to pay more for an inferior product. Part of the resentment was
because this was a not so subtle reminder of the lie that men deserve better than
women; a lie that has shaped so much of my life.
Sigh. And it’s everywhere. Not
just the shampoo aisle of a drug store.
It’s in my head still.
( Long pause.)
So how do I change my head and
my heart?
And Jesus says, “Forgive.” The gift that will set me free.
This is going to be a long
list.
I choose to forgive the women
whose legacy was the lie that, because of gender, I am worth less and that men
are worth more; that they are more deserving. I choose to forgive the men who
use(d) their power to subjugate women…me… I also forgive the men who taught the
men these things.
Lord, there is also a whole lot of forgiving to do about the scrunchie and
its message. There are marketers to forgive, the store purchasing agent, the
manufacturers, and even the cashier, who looked disgusted when I laid my inexpensive “men’s”
product on the counter. Hmmm…can I forgive myself for believing this was wrong?
That I should have bought a purple one?
Whoa…how did shame and guilt get in
there?
Oh, Lord...how I need You to lead me through this. AMEN!
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