Saturday, 10 June 2017

1 John 5:14-15 by Susan L.

  Affirmation #60 I am confident of answers to prayer.
 "And we are confident that He hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases Him. And since we know He hears us when we make our requests, we also know that He will give us what we ask for." JCB
  I've been reading Bruxy Cavey's book "re(union)" which is the foundation for the teaching series we are going through at church. It's challenged me on a number of levels. One of which ties into today's affirmation.
  It's wonderful to be able to look back through past posts and see that prayers have been answered time and again. Most of these prayers are spur-of-the-moment, heartfelt requests for healing and a deeper understanding/relationship with my heavenly Father and even more so, Jesus. Many of them have answers that are still unfolding even as I type. It is definitely something to give thanks for.
  I'm being nudged towards making a different type of prayer. One that has me voice my dreams for the future. It scares the pants off me! Even though I have a most welcomed hope for the future, it's still vague. As I read a section in "re(union)" about asking God for our heart's desire, I was a bit sad because I couldn't think of anything that was wanted enough to ask/hope for.
  So, why is it so hard to make a wish, a prayer for my future life?
  I guess it's because it is such a foreign concept. It's learning a new language. Future-speak. It's also bigger than just asking for stuff. Although, time and again, the Lord has blessed me with road side finds fulfilling a need needed. Each time I've done a shameless, happy dance of gratitude.
  Maybe "bigger" is the wrong word. "Different" is better, not so imposing.
  So I have to ask myself, what do I want?
  Do I want a partner to share life with? Part of me says yes, the other isn't so sure. What sort of person would suit? Could I think about what he would need to be like?
  Most of the time my prayers have been to remain single if a human relationship would take me away from God. Now I am learning how relationships are a way of drawing nearer to God, it's got me thinking about those prayers. Am I ready for something completely different? Is it time to move out of isolation, the protection of my sanctuary and singleness?
  Whoa! Back up a moment! I need to be kind about this. I have not hidden behind being single. I have not been well enough for a long time to even consider having another person in my life besides a few special friends and Pumpkin. Cats are demanding partners! If anything, this is a celebration moment because I am even entertaining the possibility of a relationship with a man. Talk about a change!
  Do I want to go back to school? For what? To become a pastor? Why a pastor? Hmmmm, is it possible to do online courses towards that purpose? It's an idea that has been whispering around the edges of my mind for quite a while now. I've never put it "out there" before. 
  Lord, let Your calling for my life come through loud and clear.
  There I go again. Finding a way to escape asking for something. :)
  This new language is going to take some getting used to!
  "But you, beloved, building yourselves up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life." Jude 1:20-21

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