Roller Coaster

  In the thick of it, I am blind.
  Thank you, everyone for your prayers because even though there is still some anxiety, out of it has come a clear vision. It's no longer strong enough to quench hope and purpose. Perhaps that's why the anxiety was there, to stop me from seeing the direction my life is to take; to stop me from believing it had a direction.
  It is far outside my comfort zone. It will be God that will sustain me as I embark, once again, on a writer's journey because I believe God has given me something worth sharing.
  Oh, the usual objections are there...I am not qualified. There's no letters after my name. I am not a pastor nor minister. My Bible knowledge requires a concordance or Google to find passages the majority of the time. In short, I am nobody, just a middle-aged woman in the crowd.
  God loves us nobodies.
  I will also trust that He will provide sound counsel throughout the process. This is not a journey to embark on by myself.
  Here's the thing. This writing will not be my work, but God's. As such, I must trust Him to do with it as He will. I must trust Him to shape it into its final form.
  But He is good, too. Knowing my writing has reached around the globe is both humbling and a confidence booster! (Thank you!)
  It will be called "The Lazarus Prayer". (Maybe.)
  I had written out a brief version for a friend several days ago not realizing it would end up being an outline, a starting point. (A new idea for me as well...what's planning?)
  The prayer's foundation is the story of Jesus' miracle when He called Lazarus back to life. I believe I have shared before about the bit that seems to get glossed over. It's when Jesus commanded the surrounding witnesses to unwrap the grave clothes from Lazarus after he arose from his tomb. That's the prayer, words to do the unwrapping.
  It makes me smile a bit because I have always envisioned Lazarus looking like an Egyptian mummy from a cheap horror flick. GRRR! AAARGH! So, there needs to be some research. One of my weak points. I'd sooner jump right in!
  There needs to be some big sheets of paper to brainstorm on aka seek God's ideas and to help discern what the final product will look like. That's a different approach as well. NO DIVING!
  Lord, help me wrest every little nuance from the story!
  And maybe this is why the few larger fiction pieces I've tried to write have fizzled. This gift was meant for something far more.
  Wow.
  Lord, keep in me a humble heart.
  And maybe, just maybe, in among the anxiety is a bit of excitement.
  "But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you. An you will be my witnesses, telling people about me everywhere--in Jerusalem, throughout Judea, in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." Acts 1:8