Tuesday, 10 October 2017

Affirmation #130 by Susan L.

  I am hidden with Christ in God. Colossians 3:3
  "For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God." NKJV
  "Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God." Col 3:2-3 JCB

  This doesn't feel affirming. It feels more like a conviction.

  Lord, how am I supposed to meditate on heaven when this earthly mind and body betrays me? Especially when I don't know what sends me careening down the Black River rapids! How do I get off the boat? How do I lose the anger and frustration being swept away stirs in my heart?
  And I am angry. Very. Very. Angry.
  And tired.
  And feeling terribly lonely.
  I was living a miracle, a taste of peace for several months with zero anxiety. It was wonderful.
  How come it ended?

  What would Jesus say about all this, seeing as my life is hidden with Him?
  I keep hearing the words, "Ask for help. That's what community is for."
  So why can't I?
  Why is it so hard for me to accept help even when it is offered without being asked for?
  I don't want to be an inconvenience or to be a bother to any one.
  Now there's a core belief that has deep roots.
  It's no wonder I am feeling lonely if this is how I think. It slams the door on being blessed or giving others the chance to do the blessing. It slams the door on community and friendships.
  Thank You, Lord, for helping me see the truth.
  Help me learn to trust others, that their motivation is of love. Help me let go of my fierce independent streak or at least learn to tame it. In Jesus' name I pray.


1 comment:

  1. I don't pretend to be able to answer on behalf of God (your questions were directed to Him), but here are my own thoughts... your "condition", be it anxiety, fatigue, or whatever else makes you feel betrayed by your mind and body, are things you need to accept as being part of You. They are no more in your control than a diabetic can control his or her body's response to sugar. Once you accept these "limitations", then you are dying to your dream of who you wish you could be. This is your version of dying to life, as Paul describes in his letter to the Colossians. Dying to life will look differently for each of us. It goes deeper than just valuing spiritual things over material, or how we spend our time. It is setting aside ALL that we hold dear, even our health, for God's bigger plan for our lives. It is not easy, perhaps not even possible in a complete way, and certainly not possible without God's grace to help us. But it becomes part of our pilgrim journey on this earth if we choose to include it. And when we do, then I believe our unhappiness and anger about these things will fade, perhaps even disappear. When we are hidden with Christ, life's issues matter less, and Paul's witness elsewhere describes being satisfied with whatever condition he found himself in. That is certainly a goal worth being pursued!