Be longing...wanting to be part of something bigger than myself, to be in community and relationship, to be needed and accepted. To belong.
The devil made sure I always felt my square peg personality would never fit in with others because there only seemed to be round holes no matter where I went. Round hole personalities were ruthless in guarding their territory. Maybe because they were afraid someone might find out they were square pegs, too.
I learned to lie, to hide my feelings, to be a chameleon who adapted and modified my behaviour in order to be accepted. My true self got lost in the wastelands of the wilderness.
Oh, I worked really hard at being everything others expected me to be but ended up failing miserably. I could never do enough to earn love and acceptance. It ended with me being cast aside like unwanted trash. For this, I am eternally grateful, because in being rejected, in reaching the end of the great pretending, I have found a better life than I ever thought possible.
I belong to God, now.
"You are worth loving," He told me nearly a decade ago. He's spent the last decade showing me why by tenderly and gently unravelling the lies I believed of myself and others and even about Him.
Because He belongs to me.
"I (Jesus) will not leave you orphans; I will come to you." Jn 14:18
The Black River is a journey in faith. It delves into an exploration of life: from the calm, clear waters of the good days, the mundane, to the swirling eddies and deep waters of issues that face every one of us. Thank you for visiting this site. You can contact me personally at: godandtheblackriver@gmail.com
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