? by Susan L.

 It's an all over the map sort of day.
 Gray skies, rain, decisions, second guessing, insecurity, loneliness, overwhelmed, depressed and, yes, anxious.
  A rather unpleasant stew of emotions.
  Tired.
  I had a vivid dream last night about the intensive agriculture farmer a group of neighbours took on years ago. We worked with the township to stop further expansion of the existing 3000 head operation in our community. What initially began with esthetic issues due to the smell, noise, etc. quickly became an environmental one. These massive farms use the same amount of water and generate the equivalent waste of a small town. Because it's a "farm", the impact isn't included in any water studies. We were crucial for the drafting of some of the first sets of bi-laws regarding these types of operations that have since been adopted by other townships in the area.
  Sometimes the little guy wins.
  In the dream, for some reason, I was there to buy cattle from him but ended up seeing a secret underground stable of horses. Was I being a spy? Looking for inside information? If an evil mastermind had a perfectly hidden lair, this would have been it.
  There was a tiny, square doorway to crawl through which took some wrestling to get my back end clear of. This led to a cement tunnel that wound its way to the immaculate and sweet smelling stables. Looking up, there was a canopy of trees over the entire operation instead of a roof. I fell in love with a two year old, unbroken gelding he had. When I heard the price of $500, I woke up. My waking self realized that was a really low price for a horse.
  Weird.
  A random thought had crossed my mind the other day that there are few small farms raising cattle in the area. What used to be a common sight has been replaced by acres of cash crops. Not having open and often "weedy" pastures has had a devastating impact on insect life like bees and monarch butterflies. Song bird populations have also taken a hit.
  Okay. What can I do? Plant native species of wildflowers like milkweed in the garden. Repair my birdhouses. I could even build a bat house. They love mosquitoes.
  I feel a bit better now. Maybe it's because that even if I am not in a great place, I can make a difference in some small way.
  "Though the fig tree may not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines; Though the labor of the olive may fail, and the fields yield no food; Though the flock may be cut off from the fold, and there be no herd in the stalls--Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation." Hab 3:17-18