In an out-of-character fit of boldness, I shared a link to my blog on Facebook so my church family could read what had been written about Sunday's fun. It's left me feeling rather anxious...no, not anxious...Guilty? Yes. That's one part. Uncomfortable. Yes, that's another. Is shame in there? Shame that I put my writing out there for all to see?
This happens every time I share any aspect of the creative voice God gave me be it in art, writing or even playing or singing with the worship team. My stomach roils with toxic emotions. Why?
Oh.
That's opened a barrage of ugly. The devil is having some fun with this.
"How dare you! It's boastful! It's arrogant, conceited, prideful! What makes you think you're better than anyone else? Talent? Bah! Nothing you do is ever good enough! What make you think anyone would be interested in what you have to say anyways?"
Wow. I need to take a moment. That wasn't much fun but the Lord says anything that is held up to the light will be made manifest by the Light.
To the Light I offer this: lessons learned at the hands of abuse and control don't belong. Lessons that were drilled into my soul by hurtful words, hurtful silences and cruel actions don't belong either. These poisonous understandings no longer have a place in my life.
I thought checking out the blog stats was an egotistic, prideful thing but realize now it's been simply out of amazement that so many people from all over the world like to pop in and read what is written! It's an honour. It's encouraging. Thank you, dear readers, for helping me come to believe in God's gifts.
Lord, help me forgive. Help me share, with a soul freed of lies, the gifts You placed in my heart and mind. Help me understand when real pride is at work. Help me stay truly humble because, Lord, I am honoured by the many, many gifts and abilities you have given me. Use them for Your glory. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen!
"Then he who had received the five talents went and traded with them, and made another five talents. And likewise he who had received two gained two more also. But he who had received one went and dug in the ground, and hid his lord's money." Mat 25:16-18
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Boundary Study Part 2
"Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God--truly righteous and holy...
Pride is less about what you do, than why you do it. And it is always good to make a self-examination about the motivations of our hearts.
ReplyDeleteSharing your story out of a desire to help others, or to find others to walk with you through life, is not pride. Talking about your abilities or talents in order to impress people, would be pride. Seeking praise is rooted in pride; seeking affirmation is not (the difference being, elevating oneself vs. confirming a truth). The sinful element of pride is that it causes us to think more highly of ourselves, at the expense of our relationship with God.
We have Jesus as our model, who never boasted about anything. He just went about His work, following God's leading. Sometimes that work was in secret; sometimes it was public.
May you continue to bless others, as you share your talents!