My biggest challenge is starting to make itself known again: overwhelm. Its companion, depression, is also beginning to creep in partly because of feeling overwhelmed, partly because the anti-biotic interferes with sleep, partly because I've spent too much time alone over the last couple of months.
I got thinking about the old expression about the straw that broke the camel's back. There's a lot of straw in my life right now.
There's the everyday responsibilities of home ownership and the extra chores brought about by the wonderful explosion of spring life. As much as I love getting my feet dirty and feeling the earth in my hands, being sick has put me far behind the weeds. Straw.
The bag of dirt is still sitting on the lawn waiting to be emptied but I can't do that until the back garden gets cleaned up. Instead of using the good dirt, I am taking the grass filled soil from the garden and spreading it on the front yard where there's no grass. The bag dirt will then replace what was taken from the garden. Straw.
There's a massive ant hill back there. I hate killing anything but it's in the way. Straw.
There's the heavy slab of concrete sitting on the driveway waiting for some inspiration about what to do with it as well as the cleanup from the deck build needing to be done. Straw.
There's a load of stuff to donate to the second had store that's been in the car for over a week and some books to take to the second hand book store. Gotta get the car emptied before being able to do a dump run of scrap, pressure treated wood. Straw.
I still have my snow tires on but can't do that either until the car is empty. Straw.
I have postponed going to the new Bible study until the fall yet feel bad because it is an opportunity to fight off the isolation that feeds the overwhelm. I was invited to attend the year end pot luck but the thought of going sets a swirl of panic in motion. Straw.
The fish tank looks like a biological experiment on algae growth. I want to take the fish to my friend's pond rather than putting them out in mine. The goldfish are simply too big now. Straw.
I really should get to the doctors as a follow up. There's still traces of the cough hanging on but getting in to see him is a challenge and I am working four days this week. Straw.
I've several emails that need responding to. Straw.
But you know something? A bale of straw weighs a whole lot less than a bale of hay! Thank You Lord that this is all straw. Still, I lay these burdens at Your feet. Help me do as needs doing in Jesus' name I pray.
"But to You I have cried out, O Lord, and in the morning my prayer comes before You." Ps 88:13
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Boundary Study Part 2
"Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God--truly righteous and holy...
Sometimes we have to take a step back and look at our responsibilities by category to see how to prioritize them. Personal health is probably #1 - mental and physical. That would place a doctor's visit at the top, as soon as you can manage it. Maybe if you at least make an appointment for next week you'll be one step closer. And possibly getting together with your bible study group is important for your mental/social well-being. Likewise, your relationships - put the emails next. The lives we are responsible for are also primary - I'd say get rid of the fish as soon as possible. Finances come next in my lineup - if getting the summer tires on will save wear and tear on the winter tires, then I'd put that next. Can I take the stuff for donation to the second hand store for you? I could pick it up when I come over with the sod. Lastly, gardening and cleaning can always wait - it may frustrate us to see it sitting around, but nothing critical is damaged by waiting. It will always be there to come back to.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure if you're a list person, but I find it helpful to write things down in the order I need to do them, to keep me focused. Then, checking them off can make me feel like I've made headway, even if I've only accomplished one thing.
My 2 cents worth.
And I will also point out that you spent a lot of time burning branches after the ice storm, then reconstructing your entire front access area, so it's not like you haven't accomplished a lot already this Spring!
ReplyDeleteYou could invite your friends over to help you know--that way you'd crack the social isolation and the to do list at once. I can't help this week but next week I could be your slave for a few hours. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you both for your offers of help. I just might take you up on it. :)
ReplyDelete