I want to celebrate being well. This is the first autumn in many years I haven't felt the niggling fingers of depression beginning to work their way under my skin. I don't know if it was the shortening days, the fact that there's many lousy anniversary dates or if it was simply dreading the oncoming winter. Or a combination of all of the above.
Maybe it's because I am so busy right now there's no time to think, to remember. Could it be the late spring cleaning of the house is helping as well? Purging clutter is purging my soul of unwanted associations. Perhaps it is simply because of the passage of time, the rawness, the power of these memories has finally dissipated.
The "why" really doesn't matter. All I know is it feels good to be well. Better, in fact, than I've ever felt before. It's funny but that is something that has been said many times along the journey of recovery. Each time wellness blesses me, it's better than ever. "Plateaus of Wellness" might be an apt description. Getting up the sides can be tough work, rife with difficulties but when that safe, flat space is reached....Halleluiah!
All I know is my heart is filled with laughter, my soul is content, my mind is able to remember and just as quickly let go of the events related to my illness.
And there's the added affirmation, once again, that I am in Good Hands. The Lord has provided by covering the expense incurred for the fireplace and TV. That deserves another Halleluiah!
"But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved)." Eph 2:4-5
The Black River is a journey in faith. It delves into an exploration of life: from the calm, clear waters of the good days, the mundane, to the swirling eddies and deep waters of issues that face every one of us. Thank you for visiting this site. You can contact me personally at: godandtheblackriver@gmail.com
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My observation is that it's not that you feel well because you are busy, you are busy because you are well. And yes, time helps to heal a degree of grief in us all. However, mental illness has a life of its own despite circumstances, so the fact that you feel well is incredibly telling about what a great place you are in. Reason for celebration, for sure!
ReplyDeleteAmen!
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