It happens on a regular basis. I say the wrong thing. Especially when I think I'm being funny and teasing, it ends up coming out catty and hurtful.
I have to take teasing out of the picture all together. Lord, I'll need Your help.
It is never my intention to hurt anyone but once the words are out it's hard to take them back. I try and apologise as soon as possible. Love means saying you're sorry. Thankfully, the Spirit is quick to convict me but still, the damage is done.
I should know better. Forgive me, my Lord.
The old saying "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me" is a load of hooey. Words hurt as much as a fist. The damage is just as bad and just as long lived. Ask any adult who has been or child who is being bullied. Check out any literature on abuse. The physical aspect is only a fraction of the ways an abuser can exert control over another. There are mental, financial, social, sexual, and verbal facets of abuse.
That's why I said I should know better.
Many a word said behind a veil of laughter cut me down to nothing time and again.
Simply writing about it stirs up far too many unpleasant memories. Thank You, Lord, we have walked a path of healing and forgiveness. Thank You, I am growing to know the truth, Your truth, about who I am according to Your will and Your design.
Help me become that person. In Jesus' name I pray.
"He will sit as a refiner and a purifier of silver; He will purify the sons of Levi, and purge them as gold and silver, that they may offer to the Lord an offering in righteousness." Mal 3:3
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Boundary Study Part 2
"Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God--truly righteous and holy...
Not all teasing is bad, and I hope you don't take it completely out of the picture, at least with me. It's perhaps tricky... what is said, the context, the tone of voice - these all can convey meaning beyond the words and can reveal something about the deliverer -anger, bitterness, jealousy, judgement, etc. But part of the problem can be the receiver - how confident they are in their identity; their ability to laugh at themselves. The tricky part is assessing all this before one says anything. You can have the best of intentions and deliver something with love, but if the other person is super-sensitive then it will hurt their feelings. Also, if there are old resentments that have never been forgiven then innocent words can become toxic. I think the best situation is for us all to try to take ourselves a little less seriously and learn to laugh at ourselves. That, and find ways to tease each other kindly. Can I call you Wonder Woman? :)
ReplyDeleteI know what you are saying. I recently sent an e-mail to someone thinking I was being amusing but as soon as I got their response, I realize that my humor was lost between me hitting send and their opening it. I agree with H. that not all teasing is bad - sometimes it is the timing which is at fault.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you both. There's something wonderful about an irrepressible sense of fun. It simply shouldn't be at the expense of another. It's about finding the balance.
ReplyDelete