In Touch by Susan L.

  It was the final night for art therapy this spring. We take the time to review our pieces before using the time to finish up anything that needs to be completed. I didn't feel like pursuing any new creation. Instead the urge to write about the nightmare picture from a couple weeks ago, the one I cut the little bird cage out of, took hold of me.
  I got honest and felt the Lord looking over my shoulder as I wrote to my ex. It was about the dark legacy of that relationship, the PTSD, and its accompanying fear and watchfulness which is the state of my existence. I learned these crippling skills well within that twenty year span and wept sorely as the truth of how I felt came out.
  There's still a lot of raw emotion this morning. It was a tough night. I am thankful to be going away for the next three days, to be with good company. It's one of those times when living on my own can be incredibly lonely.
  I am not going to brush this under the table with an acknowledgement that plenty of good also came out of that relationship. I know it did, such as my beloved children. This open dialogue with my Lord is about grief. It's about the reality of my every day challenges. I am not going to band aid this with a strict religious forgive and forget denial of my feelings. The cost is too high.
  My trust is in the Lord that He will lead me into healing, heart forgiveness and finally the peace that surpasses all understanding. Just as He as done so many times before.
  "Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand." Eph 6:13