Making Peace by Susan L.

Soot didn't make it. I did all that I could. His death created a hurricane of emotions: guilt, regret, self condemnation, grief, loss, shame, and a deep sense of failure. The ghosts of animals gone rose up to haunt me. Farm life is life and death. I could never truly numb myself to the sense of defeat stirred up in my heart each time a lamb, a calf, a chick would die. No matter the circumstances. And there were many. It was really bad with Soot, that sense if failure. God is good! He revealed a fundamental truth about who I am setting me free from believing this little kitten's death was somehow my fault. It cascaded over all the memories of other four legged deaths. Simply put: I tried. I answered the kitten's cry regardless of knowing what it would take to care for him. Even though I knew there could be sorrow. That"s all that matters. The rest was in God's hands. I am once again forever changed. The burden I have carried since I left the farm ten years ago has slipped away. A mantle of peace has wrapped itself around my shoulders. "A man has joy by the answer of his mouth,and a word spoken in due season, how good it is!" Prov 15:23