Friday, 12 July 2013

Making Peace by Susan L.

Soot didn't make it. I did all that I could. His death created a hurricane of emotions: guilt, regret, self condemnation, grief, loss, shame, and a deep sense of failure. The ghosts of animals gone rose up to haunt me. Farm life is life and death. I could never truly numb myself to the sense of defeat stirred up in my heart each time a lamb, a calf, a chick would die. No matter the circumstances. And there were many. It was really bad with Soot, that sense if failure. God is good! He revealed a fundamental truth about who I am setting me free from believing this little kitten's death was somehow my fault. It cascaded over all the memories of other four legged deaths. Simply put: I tried. I answered the kitten's cry regardless of knowing what it would take to care for him. Even though I knew there could be sorrow. That"s all that matters. The rest was in God's hands. I am once again forever changed. The burden I have carried since I left the farm ten years ago has slipped away. A mantle of peace has wrapped itself around my shoulders. "A man has joy by the answer of his mouth,and a word spoken in due season, how good it is!" Prov 15:23

1 comment:

  1. We often ask, "Where is God?". The answer is, God is present in the love that causes us to do anything selfless. God is also with us in the pain we feel when there is failure and loss. This is the message of The Cross. Sorry about losing Soot.